International Women’s Day & The Worst Google Doodles of All Time

Yesterday was International Women’s Day. Yay women! And before you start asking why there isn’t an international men’s day, there is:

That’s not what I want to focus on today. I want to focus on why yesterday’s Google Doodle was so, so terrible:

Let’s just do a quick run-down:

• The capital G is the gender symbol for woman, AKA the Venus symbol. Fair enough.
• The second “o” is a flower. That seems pretty weak. It’s not International Flower Day, and women aren’t really that into flowers.
• The next thing that pops out to me is the little “g.” It styled so it looks a little like a gender symbol. But what it primarily looks like is a bra. Maybe even a coconut bra. Really, Google? This is how you represent women across the world? Flowers and bras? (Andrew Hanelly suggested it might be a Shake Weight.)
• Once you make the bra connection, it’s hard not to see the remaining letters as offensive symbols of womanhood. Are the first “o” and “e” spots of menstrual blood or what? Is the “l” a tampon?

Even if you don’t see all this subtext in the doodle (lucky you), you have to admit it’s not good. That got me thinking – what other Google Doodles have totally sucked?

And it turns out (spoiler alert) it’s really hard to find another Google Doodle that’s anywhere near as bad as this one. Most of them look like they actually took some care and thought. But here we go anyway, the five-ish worst-ish Google Doodles ever, in my humble estimation …

Tie: Father’s Day 2010 and Father’s Day 2011

Two years in a row, the Father’s Day logo centered around neckties, proving they are equal opportunists when it comes to gender stereotypes. What percentage of dads actually wear a tie?

Mother’s Day 2010, 2009, etc…

If Father’s Day means ties, Mother’s Day means flowers, obviously. Mothers are also women, and as established above, women love flowers! (In 2012, I think I’ll be subversive and send my dad flowers.)

Figure Skating (Vancouver Winter Olympics)

I’m including this one for the lost opportunity. Why wasn’t she carving out the double-o like a figure 8? SMH. (There is a whole, too-long series of these, for skiing, curling, etc., and they are all pretty dullsville.)

Happy Holidays from Google 2006

Thanks Google.

But what’s with the kangaroos??

Google’s First Doodle

I’m including this one partly because I forgot how ugly the Google logo used to be. Also, it’s really kind of embarrassing that the Google boys were so excited about going to Burning Man they had to commemorate it in a Doodle.

It reminds me of when the Beatles went through that stoner stage. We get it, we get it! You really like weed!

On the upside, like I said, most of Google’s doodles really are pretty good. You can browse through them all here and here.